Conflicts and arguments are something we experience almost every day in our lives. No matter how hard you try to remain calm, at least once in your life you may get close to the verge of losing your temper. Nevertheless, a lot of people are unable to control themselves and their emotions during an argument, so if you are one of them you may find the following tips very helpful.
Pause and Breathe
Taking deep breaths will help you stay calm because slow and shallow breathing are the body’s usual responses when in an argument. Deep breaths are excellent for reducing the production of adrenaline and cortisol which are stress hormones. So, try to take deep and long breaths and you will relax much faster. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
Lower your voice
Raising your voice is the easiest way to start or escalate a conflict. On the other hand, lowering it can be very helpful if you are trying to resolve the conflict. Try to calm the other person first by lowering your voice which can impart a sense of calm that can be a step forward to resolving the issue causing the conflict.
When people feel they are not being listened to, they often initiate arguments or some kind of conflict. Also, an argument can never be settled without active listening. So, make sure you are listening the person and make sure they are aware you are present in the moment. Don’t allow anything to distract you and in the end of the conversation make sure you have the necessary information for an intelligent response.
Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions is a very important part of solving a conflict. They show you have been listening actively and also that you respect the other person enough by allowing them to express their thoughts. Instead of asking “Yes” or “No” questions, try to start with “What”, “Why” and “How”. This way you show the person that you want them to answer longer rather than with just a simple yes or no.
Agree to disagree
You can’t expect for every argument to end with results that both sides will be happy with. However, in order to avoid escalating the conflict you should try to end it before things heat up. It takes at least two people to start a conflict, and if you feel that the participant is very hostile or that the conversation is not going anywhere, you should try to separate from the argument.
Focus on your body
Being focused on what happens to your body when in an argument can be very helpful. You may notice that you are breathing shallow and you are very tensed. Once you focus on these physical sensations you will be able to relax faster. Start by relaxing your hands and shoulders and return to a more neutral state.
We hope you will use these tips next time you have an argument and that you will be able to resolve any issues much easier without unnecessary conflicts. Being constantly stressed and angry can have serious negative effects on our health so it is always a better idea to protect yourself from the negativity. Even though you may lose your temper and act in a manner you will never be proud of, you can at least try to calm yourself down in order to avoid making mistakes you are going to regret.